A little introduction

1. I love lists.
2. I love shortening words, examples: inappropriate = inapropro, muffins = muffs, etc.
3. Married to a chef who works in Alaska 4 months a year. We kick it old-school with Jane Austen style letter writing due to no phone or Internet in the bush of AK. You think you know someone, then you write letters. It's a whole new world baby. Nothing will make you want to swoon on your fainting couch and fan your face with an embroidered handkerchief more than a handwritten love letter folded around cotton flowers handpicked for you on the tundra. Just writing that makes me feel faint and woozy with romance. My man has some skills.
4. Love obscenely bright neon pink nail polish.
5. Prefer brown sugar in my coffee. Also? Absolutely love coffee.
6. Live on what is referred to as "sorority and fraternity row" and despise neighbors. Reasons for this are:
     a) I am friendly and wave and smile (because I am a lady! I am CIVILIZED goddammit!) and no one waves back.
     b)People park in our yard.
     c) People litter with abandon.
     d) People throw parties until three in the morning---loud loud parties. (Also they don't invite us, bitches.)     
     e) No one works or has any realization of what work is.
     f) People get in drunken fights on the sidewalk outside of our house regularly and have broken plants on our porch before.
     g) More times than I care to mention people have been high off of drugs (or maybe life, but probably most definitely drugs) and run around in the street not wearing certain items of clothing that one normally needs to wear when running on the street and that shizz stresses me out. Do drugs if you must, but please do them in your home and, ideally, smoke pot because it seems to make most people mellow.
7. Once I found a pair of Herve Leger bandage shorts for $10 in a thrift store.
8. I once sold a pair of Herve Leger bandage shorts for $110 on ebay that I purchased for only $10!
9. Who has two thumbs and champagne tastes, yet a domestic beer budget? THIS GIRL!
10. I really love swearing even though it is inapropro.
11. Addicted to: coffee, alcohol, refined sugar, and cheese.
12. I have no friends. Kidding! Sort of! I have almost no friends in the town where I live. They mostly all live in such exotic places as New Orleans, Boston, Birmingham, Providence. The cheese stands alone. (The cheese being me.)

13.  This is a photo of a delicious orange beverage and a delightful shot of espresso topped with homemade whipped cream. It was consumed in New Orleans a few years ago. I would like both of those things in my life, on my desk, right now.