Completely Cringe-Worthy and Semi Ridiculous Goals

Right. So . . . I know I'm not eight anymore, and it's not the New Year, and making a Summer Goals list is not only ridiculous but also embarrassing and unnecessary and probably not happening. Having said that, obviously, I totally wrote one out and proceeded to check things off with abandon. With my Dearheart being gone for months at a time, it's good to stay busy and it can be exciting to focus on just myself for a bit.

The List: (editors note: please feel free to make fun of me at your leisure. I just ask that you do it behind my back as I am a delicate flower who is sensitive to criticism sometimes. I can take it, I just don't like to.)

1. Ride my bike to work 3 times a week. HA! Isn't this ADORABLE? It's freaking Mississippi in the summertime, I am a weakling, and my bike has one speed. Epic. Fail.

2. List stuff on eBay. Check-motherfucking-mark.

3. Get lenses for my frames. Long story but I got some bad ass frames on super sale but was saving up to get the lenses. Also, check and mark!

4. Plant herbs and flowers in coffee cans and arrange tastefully on the front porch. Um, yeah. Coffee cans LOOK all crafty and awesome and cool but my plants hated them and promptly revolted by dying, and the cans rusted. Do not try this at home. Do not do this if you see it on Pinterest! Avoid!

5. Buy a 2 month yoga subscription. Got one for six months, BOOM!

6. Make cushions for love seat. I bought pillows. That counts?

7. Re-upholster said cushions for love seat. The pillows came with covers? Is upholstery-ish, correct?

8. Touch up paint trim throughout the house. Doing it this weekend.

9. Embroider cards to send to John. Was clearly high on life/paint fumes/just plain crazy when I wrote this. I don't even know how to embroider. I blame pinterest (again) for making me think I can do these crafty things, and do them well. Pinterest, you are such a saucy minx.

10. Wire jam jars and hang on front porch for candlelight, or figure out ambient lighting for porch. Not so much. Next.

11. Go to the beach. Done.

12. Pressure wash the front porch. Am I the only one who adores pressure washing? It is one of my favorite things to do. So satisfying.

13. Buy red Saltwater sandals and THROW OUT GRODY SEAFOAM ONES! It's sad I had to write this down, but I had these disgusting sandals for years that I didn't even like but I just never found a replacement for (it helps when you actually look for a replacement, but I digress). Mission: accomplished. PS Saltwaters are the bomb. My mom actually got a matching pair, which I am hoping is adorable, and not super sad or deserving of the phrase "bless their hearts".

14. Buy boxes/storage containers to clear up bottom of bookshelves. Thank you Ikea. My mental intelligence was almost bested by a cardboard box, but I persevered and won. In your face box! I owned you!

15. Get a massage every few weeks. Don't feel guilty! Your body is your temple and your temple needs some maintenance. Is cheaper than a doctors visit (editors note: I see some expensive-ass doctors, so this is true) lasts longer and makes you feel better! Sort of did it. I got two, which is two more than I had last year or the year before. Baby steps.

16. Find/make curtains for above the bed, or learn to really love the fringed shawl hanging there. I heart you fringed shawl.

17. Get good/better/try to take more pictures. HA! Right. Nope. I'm taking more I suppose, but they are all blurry and the lighting is bad. Which, I suppose, is what happens when you use your phone for everything and not a real camera.

18. Train so I can run three miles straight without dying. Baaahahaaaa!

19. Buy running shoes (see #18). Done.

20. Make a rosemary gin fizz, drink with friends. Working on this. I made the rosemary simple syrup but had neither enough rosemary, nor white sugar. The resulting liquid was poo brown with some twigs floating in it. I have since purchased white sugar and plan on rectifying the whole debacle this weekend. Sidenote: I have gin in tiny airplane bottles that my mother gave me (long story) and there is little in life that makes me happier than mini things. Especially mini alcoholic things.

21. See every movie I want to in the theater. Sneak prosecco into at least one. Done. Also I'd say "sneak champagne in" but let's be frank, prosecco is just as good and way cheaper.

22. Visit Birmingham. Family H can attest to this. There was much cooking, drinking, and rejoicing.

23. Visit New Orleans. Went for Running of the Bulls. Awesome. Please put on bucket list if you haven't been.

24. Clean out car. Happening this weekend.

25. Cook at home more. *Hummus is not an appropriate meal and does not count as cooking. Repeat until have learned this. Also stop buying damn beans to make hummus, buy pasta or something instead. Yes! Got really good at this one!

26. Eat out with friends at least once a week somewhere delicious. Sort of. I have so few friends here this was harder than anticipated. Also I had some sickness going on for a while and couldn't really eat anything at all so . . . this one is an A for effort, C for execution.

27. Find somewhere that makes macarons and nom away. My sweet Mother Unit got me some frozen from Trader Joe's. Vanilla and chocolate. They scratched the surface of the itch, but I'm going to need some fancy patisserie ones before the year is out.

These photos are from three years ago (before I learned how to turn of the time and date on my camera, clearly) but they are of Folly Beach in South Carolina. Which was where I went this summer as well. It looked the same, so just pretend they are from this summer.